Kalvin Phillips' female influences
International Women's Day 2023
Hand over mouth, Bukayo Saka couldn’t quite believe what had just happened.
The Arsenal winger, one of the breakout stars from Euro 2020, had cruelly been the man to have the decisive spot-kick saved at Wembley Stadium, consigning England to a gut-wrenching penalty shootout defeat in their first major men’s final since 1966.
As Roberto Mancini’s Italy squad raced towards Azzurri stopper Gianluigi Donnarumma in celebration, Kalvin Phillips made his way over to console his distraught team-mate.
“It’s just what I’d do to anyone to be honest,” the midfielder shrugs when asked to recall the events of 11 July 2021.
“Not just Bukayo, I’d do it to anyone on the team, so I think it’s just the person I am. I always want to make sure people are alright and whatever happens and we’re all together anyway.
“Even if he’d scored I’d have run towards him because that would have has us probably winning the final. Unfortunately, that didn’t happen.
“I don’t really think it was that big of a deal but a lot of people mention that to me and say ‘why did you do it, why did you go over and console him?’
“I just wanted to make sure he was alright first and foremost because it was a tough situation to be in.”
It’s a typically humble response from a man who, for all of the glitz and glamour of Premier League and international football, remains incredibly grounded and affable when settling down to be interviewed.
While still determined to reach new heights during an already impressive professional career so far, it’s clear to see that Phillips has never forgotten the principles instilled in him from an early age.
Growing up in a single parent household with three siblings, things weren’t always easy for the midfielder as he negotiated those formative years.
However, in a candid and heartfelt interview, Phillips goes into detail around the influence that his mother, grandmother, sisters, and long-term partner have all had on the man he has become.
As part of Manchester City’s International Women’s Day celebrations, Kalvin reflects on those key female figures who have shaped him into the person and footballer he is today.
"For a woman working two different jobs and not having too much time to spend with us, she spent a whole weekend providing for us and making sure we got to do the things that made us happy."
“The Phillips household was obviously a crazy household,” City’s number four reflects with a smile.
“We had my mum looking after four kids at one point. I have two sisters and a younger brother, so she was a single mum doing all the hard work, providing and looking after all of us.
“It was a good childhood, I really enjoyed it. Mum went out of her way to do everything she possibly could to make us all happy.”
But while Kalvin looks back fondly on his formative years growing up in Armley, Leeds, he was acutely aware of the sacrifices made by his mother, Lindsay.
Working multiple jobs at once, the midfielder breaks down what a typical week would look like, painting a vivid picture of the lengths she went to in order to provide for her children.
He said: “My mum worked as a receptionist in a pizza shop in Leeds called ‘Harpo’s’ - which has the best pizzas in Leeds, by the way!
“She then worked at Macro as a receptionist as well. She worked during the day at Macro from 7:30 to 17:00 and then, from 18:00, she worked in the pizza shop until 21:00, sometimes 23:00 a couple of nights.
“Going up through year seven, eight and nine at high school, we didn’t see my mum that often. We’d see her in the morning when she’d take us to school and then maybe if we went home after that we’d see her for half an hour as she’d come home and get changed for the next job.
“She’d maybe try and cook us food but, if not, my grandma lived about a 10-minute walk from us so we’d we walk over, or mum would drop us off before she’d go to work, and we’d stay there until she finished.
“Then on the weekend I had football at Leeds. Before I was at Leeds, I also had Sunday league for two age groups. My younger brother played football as well, so she would just do anything based around her kids.
“For a woman working two different jobs and not having too much time to spend with them, she spent a whole weekend providing for us and making sure we got to do the things that made us happy.
“I’m just glad it’s all working out now, so a lot goes down to my mum and how much work she’s put in to get us all to this point now.”
But it’s Lindsay’s unwavering efforts to allow her children to pursue their passions which really stands out for the England international.
As Phillips alludes to, his early life revolved around football. Any spare moment was spent over on a collection of pitches known colloquially as ‘mushy field’ due to the mushroom farm situated in close proximity.
It was also the home of Kalvin’s first team, Wortley Juniors, and a regular spot for a kickabout with friends – even after he had been spotted by Leeds United.
But joining Leeds’ academy presented its own challenges, namely juggling his development in the beautiful game with his education.
Things came to a head when Phillips was required to miss two days of school per week to be at Thorp Arch – the Whites’ training ground – to finish his studies before getting out on the pitch.
The request was rejected by his headteacher, but in stepped his mother once again.
He remembers: “We asked the school [about going to Leeds] and my headteacher he came back with an email saying ‘we’re not going to allow Kalvin to go on day release, I hope Kalvin realises not many make it as professional footballer. We’d like him to stay in school and focus on his schoolwork’.
“Obviously with my mum being the person she is, how hard she’s worked to get me to that point and knowing I love football, she wrote back saying: ‘Kalvin is going on this day release, so you can mark him down as absent on Tuesdays and Thursdays, it’s not going to make a difference to me’.
“Eventually, somehow, she got it to stick, and the rest is history.”
It was a gesture which left a lasting impression on Phillips.
While the show of support from his mother certainly didn’t come as a surprise, Lindsay’s conviction in ensuring her son would have the opportunity to pursue his dream was a particularly significant moment for the midfielder.
It’s something he’s been keen to repay ever since.
“I think it was more the fact that my mum saw something special in me,” he remembers.
“Obviously to push me in that direction, to make me miss school which was and still is really important, and to push me to be able to do that at Leeds [was special].
“It was just more of the fact she believed in me which made me believe in myself even more and made me want to succeed even more.
“I was obviously working as hard as possible to eventually be in this situation. I can look after certain things and certain aspects of her life and allow her to enjoy stuff she deserves to enjoy.
“I’m just happy that I’ve given her that opportunity. It’s just pay back for how hard she’s worked to get me to this point and I’ve always tried to make her and the whole family proud and happy.
“I’ll continue to try and do that throughout my career.”
“You used to just love being around her and it’s sad she’s not with us anymore, but I still take those memories and cherish them every time I think about her.”
It’s at this point in the conversation when another influential female figure in Kalvin’s life is mentioned.
From telling off Phillips for his timekeeping through to gossip around where his former manager Marcelo Bielsa shopped in the city centre, Valerie Crosby shot to fame in Take Us Home; the Amazon documentary which focused on Leeds United’s 2018/19 Championship season.
With a quick smile, infectious laugh and an instantly approachable demeanour, it’s clear to see why ‘Granny Val’ had left such a lasting impression on the City midfielder.
Him and his siblings would spend most evenings at their grandparents’ house while their mother finished work, and it’s something that Kalvin has nothing but fond memories of.
His eyes instantly light up at her mention: “She was a special woman and a special person in my life.
“You can see I’m smiling now! Her best qualities were just being around her, the way she was.
“Not many people know this because it’s from the outside looking in, but we used to go my grandma’s and it used to just be a laugh every time we’d go.
“There wasn’t one day that went by where she didn’t make everyone feel better every time you’d see her, and she obviously made everyone laugh as well.
“We used to always go round my gran’s and have Christmas dinner and spend the full day there.
“She used to make sure that we’d never get too big for our boots. I’ve obviously tried to my best at doing that now. I always look back at that advice she’s always given me.
“You used to just love being around her and it’s sad she’s not with us anymore, but I still take those memories and cherish them every time I think about her.”
Granny Val would sadly pass away in February 2021.
However, in a touching moment from Phillips’ Leeds teammates, the players paid special tribute to her following a 3-0 Premier League win over Southampton, posing for a photo with a shirt donning her name after the final whistle.
Unsurprisingly, her death affected Kalvin and the family deeply. But the actions of Leeds United were a physical measure of the impact she had on those around her.
“Everyone who met her and knew who she was felt that same love and affection she used to give everyone,” the City midfielder continues.
“You could tell after the game [against Southampton] when they were holding up the shirts.
“It was an amazing moment for me because obviously I was struggling and with my gran passing away. It was a tough period for me.
“But, just knowing I had the whole Leeds team there and even the fans, not just Leeds but from up and down the country, with all the messages I got from them [helped].
“It was a very touching moment and one I’ll never forget.”
Fast forward to present day, and there’s no greater indication of the close bond between Phillips and his family than the fact he still lives with his twin sister in Manchester.
Kalvin was born as part of a set of triplets, but one of his sisters - who he describes as ‘always looking over him’ – sadly passed away a few months later.
While he and his twin, Deren, are incredibly close, the midfielder admits that their personalities are unique from one another.
However, he believes those differences bring the best out in each other, with her achievements in life – and those of his younger sister, Tasiana and his brother, Terrell, a source of immense pride.
He explains: “My twin sister [and I] are very different. She’s very much ‘the boss’. She does everything and gets everything sorted.
“If we’re planning to go for food altogether, she’ll be the one to say: ‘the table is booked at this time, everyone’s getting there at this time’.
“It’s just my twin sister that’s very on the ball with things and has a different personality to the rest of us.
“That’s a good thing though, because it keeps us in check, makes sure we’re doing the right things at the right times and that we’re not getting lost with anything or missing any birthdays or anything like that.
“I’d say I’m quite similar to my younger sister because we’re both very laid back, as is my brother.
“I remember Tasiana being born, but she’s obviously a lot older now and is doing very well at university. She goes to university in Manchester actually, so she stays at my house a few nights a week.
“As I’m doing better in my job and in life, it’s elevating them [my sisters and brother] to do even better in everything they’re doing.
“It makes me proud. They don’t hear it as much as they’d like to but I’m just a proud big brother.
“Everyone in my family is doing well and everything to make my mum proud.
“I just love having my siblings around me and I’ve always wanted to take care of them, I’ve always wanted to have a great relationship with them and thankfully I do.”
Phillips also lives with his long-term girlfriend.
They’ve been together since 2011, when Kalvin was still in the Leeds United youth academy, experiencing and negotiating the rollercoaster that can be early adulthood by each other’s side.
The demands of consistently performing at the highest level, not to mention the added pressure and responsibility, can weigh heavily on a professional footballer.
For the midfielder though, his girlfriend’s support through the years has been integral to him successfully overcoming any obstacles that are thrown his way.
“It’s been a long time I’ve been with her, but it’s been amazing,” he smiles.
“She’s always been a person who supports me and someone I can talk to.
“If I’m ever feeling down, I’ll talk to her, and she’ll make everything seem better than what it is. I’ve got very special women in my life.
“She’s doing really well in life. I’m just happy everyone around me is doing well and I’m able to look after them and they’re able to look after me in the same way.”
Given the impression that those key female figures have had on his life, it comes as no surprise that Phillips would love to start a family of his own when the time is right.
While he’s certainly in no rush, the midfielder is excited to take on the responsibility that his mother and grandmother shouldered so expertly.
Whatever the future holds, Kalvin is determined to provide that next generation with every opportunity he was afforded thanks to the tireless efforts of his mother.
He’s also hopeful that, in doing so, his grandmother’s memory continues to be passed down the generations.
“I’d love to have kids and that time will come. I don’t know when it will be, but I’ll make sure I’m 100 percent there all the time,” Phillips declares.
“With my job, it’s going to be difficult in the early years, but just to make sure every time and every moment I get to spend with them – I’ll make sure I do that.
“The lessons I’ve had from my mum and my gran, and different quotes they’ve given me and different pieces of advice they’ve given me are important.
“You’re never too old to get a quick clip behind the ear, that’s what I’ve been told so I’ll make sure they’ll never get too big for their boots as well!
“Hopefully, like my gran, we’re remembered and the kind of woman that she was is passed down the line for generations to come.”
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